Saturday, January 29, 2011

Getting over a past love

Hi Shayla,

I was wondering, after being in a long term relationship, I have tried to move on. Its been 2 years now, but I have not forgotten everything about my ex. Our memories still pop up everywhere I go.  I would think of him at night or when I hear a sad song. After our bad breakup, I have tried to move on and dated, but it did not help to forget.  I don't know what other ways to do to move on with my life.  Everyone say to forget and move on, but they do not understand how I feel.  It is hard for me to concentrate at work because at times my friends would remind me of him and everywhere I go memories would come back.  I was thinking of escaping, so I tried to go on vacations, but when I get home, it all comes back.  Do you think if I move to another state it would help me to forget things and start over? Our relationship is over and there is no more hope.  I just want to be happy again, but its been very hard.  Please advice. Thank you so much for your help.  I appreciate it very much

Dear Brokenhearted,

         They say that it takes half the time that you were together to fully get over someone. So depending on how long you were in the relationship divide that time in half. What you have to understand is that you are in mourning and it does take time. It's easy for everyone around to tell you to move on, but they are not the one experiencing the loss and pain. They also say time heals all wound, and this cliche is very true. The best thing to do is take one day at a time. Ask your friends to not mention his name, and if a song comes up that bring back memories, simply turn it off and direct your mind elsewhere. Keep busy and occupied by joining new hobbies and making new friends. You don't have to move to a different city, but if you have an opportunity to see the world and experience new things, I say do it. Most important is to do it for yourself and not to runaway from your past. Always tell yourself that you broke up for a reason and that he wasn't the right one for you. There are millions of people out there and trust me when I tell you that you will love again. Just take your time and don't jump into another relationship until you've are truly over him. Breakups are horrible when you are going through it, but one day you will look back and won't remember his name, face, or why you even loved him. Stay strong and make a conscious choice to be happy, because you deserve it.