Sunday, January 23, 2011

Befriending a Celebrity

Dear Shayla,
I'm a teenage girl who was born in America, for some reason I keep the vietnamese culture real well. I am able to speak, write, read, sing, and act in vietnamese. I seem to have an obsession with celebrities since acting and singing are both things I love to do, I know that partially, it may be because I want to be one of them, but on the other hand, I know I don't want to be a singer/actor... It's just not a dream I guess. A couple years ago, a dream came true for me. My favorite celebrity became my God mom. It just came, I couldn't and still cannot believe how lucky I am. Anyhow, she started a family as I was there with her, but it seems like her want to be a mom was what kept her with me in the first place, I was so happy we had a relationship that I thought it would always be like that. Well, it's all changed, we're still in contact at times, but rarely.
Now, a couple months ago, I found a new celebrity that I liked. From previous experience, I didn't want to get hurt, so I held myself back from thinking anything. I emailed her, and she replied to two of my emails. I really hope that we can at least be "email buddies," but I'm not sure if she just wanted to stop there..? I've checked her shows and she's going out of country at the end of the month but we're not there yet. It looks like she's not that busy at this time of the month but there's been no replies. Does she not want to be continue emailing back and forth do you think? Or is it the matter of time? Thanks Shayla!

Dear Number One Fan,

         First I want to say that I'm sorry that you got hurt by losing contact with the 1st celebrity. I know that you love her and wanted more from her, but the truth is, although she is your Godmother it is not her fault and responsibilty to make you happy.  She has a busy life with her career and own family and unable to give you the attention you wanted or expected. I know that she meant no harm to you and you should NOT take it so personally. I use to have phone calls, emails, and letters from fans wanting so much from me. It became overwhelming because the fact of the matter is although I truly appreciate the love and support, I am just one person and cannot give people the personal attention that they wanted. It's exhausting. It takes years to build a relationship with one person and its impossible to build a close relationship with thousands.
    What you have to understand is this is not about the Celebrity but about YOU! Because you have dreams of being a singer but think it is impossible for you to be one, than you are associating yourself with a celebrity to fill that empty void inside of you. Being close to famous people makes you feel special and wanted. When it's taken away you feel lost and abandon. That is the reason why you seeked out a new star to be close to.  

    The best thing to do is be aware of this situation and pattern. No celebrity or person will ever make you feel love and happy. Only YOU can do that for yourself.  Once you do that, you will realize that you really don't care if a celebrity is close to you or not. You appreciate them and their work, but also give them the space for them to live their life. Relationships  should come naturally and not be forced. If it works out and you become like blood, then Great, ...if you lose touch, ..then so be it. You move on. There will always be changes and people come in and out of your life all the time. It's nobody's fault. That's just life.  I wish you all the best.