Sunday, January 23, 2011

Dear Chi Shayla,

I've been following your blog and you've been giving very good advices. This help me to understand more of the outside world as I'm getting old by the year. Lol
Anyways, I just got a question to ask cause my friend is confused. This is not my situation but my friend, I just wanted to help her out since I'm inexperience and you've got the knowledge. :)
She used to dated this guy, who is younger than her by two years. He prefers to hang out with friends and going to pubs and drinking. My friend didn't mind! Oh most of his friends are still single expect for him. Afterwards, they broke up! Reasons cause he's really immature and does all this immature stuff. My friend deleted him off from facebook and added him again because she was scared since he was in the depress mood! So she called up to check on him but his friend pick up and said he is drunk! Then she asked his friend to look after him. her ex continue to annoyed her by messaging her really late at night. She got fed up and met him up and being straight forward, without holding back of what's his doing. He thinks about it and agreed that my friend was right. However, he doesn't get the message that my friend doesn't want to be friends with him anymore, that's why she deleted him off from all the contacts. He's saying that she's everything and she's the only one that has been telling him the truth. Just recently, he asked her if she wants to hangout and catch up! My friend agreed to it. They met up, nothing really happened! But just last night he messaged her, wanted to come over her place to watch movies with her.
What does that mean? Does he wanted to be back with her or simple be friends with her? Sorry if this confuse you coz it definitely confuses me.That's all, hope I covered all the aspects! Thankyou chi, hope to hear from you soon

Dear Good Friend,

         It is great that you are trying to be there for your friend. The only advice I can give you is to tell your friend that if she wants to end the relationship, then end it. She deleted him, BUT added him again.
She calls him late at night to "check up on him". You said she deleted all contacts yet he is still able to call and invite her to lunch. Of course he doesn't get the message, it's because she's sending mixed messages. She saying one thing and doing another. I think she still cares for him deeply but doesn't want to be with him. So she's confused herself. That's why I stand by the belief that once you break up, then you have to cut out all contacts. It's hard to let go of someone that once has been so important in your life, but at the end of the day, for her to move on, that is what she needs to do. If he annoys her, then just ignore him and eventually he'll get the message and move on too. If she keeps responding to his text and agreeing to meet up, then she is the one to blame for adding fuel to the fire and adding drama to her life. Best of luck.